Muddling Through

Well it has been an incredibly difficult week and a bit for me. My eating habits have been terrible, my sleeping habits the same, I have had very little exercise as well. I am going to be making baby steps from here to get back on track. I had my first Vega today since everything happened with my bf, I had some cherries during our staff meeting, the coffee cake and banana bread were calling my name, but I know that it will just make me feel worse so today I am focusing on eating quality foods and not junk.


Things with John are in a grey area right now, we are talking and we are both going to stay committed to each other, but other than that I don't know how it is going to work out. We both have a lot of things to work on, his things are more obvious than mine, but I really need to look at the choices that I make and the fact that I give too much to people sometimes. I have never lived on my own, and even though I am in my parent's basement, it is my own space and I am going to take this as an opportunity to enjoy that. I am going to take better care of my home and make it my own. I am going to focus on my goals aside from the weight loss. I am now at 170 lbs and so I am now at a weight that I haven't been at for I don't even know how long. I am going to take the pressure off of that goal and focus on other areas of my life that I need to work on. I am still going to log my foods, make an effort to exercise, but I can't make that the focus of my whole life either.

I need to keep my home cleaner, get rid of things that I no longer need that are just taking up space and making me feel like there is no hope for me to have a tidy home. I am going to read more books, and also focus a lot more on my school work and my future. I am going to write more, one of the reasons I want to read more is to try and find the passion for writing that I once had. I am going to maintain my current friendships and still try to make more new friends, I am a very social person and I really enjoy meeting people and talking with them. I am going to work on my budget more so that I will have the money to do all the things that I want to do in my life. I am still very excited about ski season and I can't wait to get back on the mountain! But I need skis, and right now I can't afford them (not that I need them yet, but still I should start putting money aside now).

This is an opportunity for growth and reflection. My relationship is not my whole life, and even though we are talking, things have a very long way to come and no one knows how this all ends. I am optimistic for the future, but right now all I can count on is myself, but I love myself so that is pretty great!